Ask Morris: What's Your Back-to-School Routine?

When the kids go back to school, cats find themselves with a lot of free time on their paws. What's the best way to fill it? You know Morris has an opinion. 

Q: Morris, what do you do all day when the kids go back to school? 

A: Ah yes. School. I get a case of the purrs when I think about the kids' return to school after a long, high-volume summer. (I'm not one to gossip, but I have it on good authority that I'm not the only one around here who feels that way.) 

The kiddos' retreat requires me to rework my carefully crafted daily schedule. It's difficult to retool perfection, but somehow I manage to fashion an even better back-to-school agenda each fall. These are my plans this year: 

I nap. When the kids are away from home, I have my choice of any bed in the house. You know what that means? I'll be trying to break my personal record of cat naps per day. 

I think. I set aside some time every day to think deep thoughts. Sometimes I ponder the pressing topics of the day: Do the fish in the tank think being blue camouflages them? Because, not true, little friends. I see you. 

Sometimes I just think about food. Is it a seafood day or a beef day? And once I decide, how can I amp up my telepathy game so Mom knows which 9Lives® Meaty Paté to choose? 

I roam. Just around the house to maintain my enviable figure. Can you believe they make fitness trackers for cats? I make sure to get my steps in daily. 

I play. It's true. I play. I can't resist a hot pink feather on a string any more than the next feline. 

I educate myself. Let's be honest. I'm already at the top of my clever cat game, but I'm always curious about what I might improve. I strategize new bird-hunting tactics at the window. I sharpen my memory skills by visualizing the details of my handsome reflection in the mirror. I cover the essentials.